I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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