fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
