**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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