Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
