i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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