Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
