He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How naked do you want me to be?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
