i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
