When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
