1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
