Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
