Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
