glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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