some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
BRING THE BAGELS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
