Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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