she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
