i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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