is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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