You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
