Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
