I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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