I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
