So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
