Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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