We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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