problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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