okay pat passed out under dana's car
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
