Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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