i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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