If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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