So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
