frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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