why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
