i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
