I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
