idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
