my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
