So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
