Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
