I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I am one with the molecules
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
