maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
