went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
