i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
