so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
