I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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