TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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