I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
