I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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