The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
