ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
