Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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